How To Create Meaningful Relationships?

Relationships have become a popular topic. You will be overwhelmed by all the latest news about who's in the dating scene and how to find your perfect Mr. Right. It's not accidental that so many conversations at dinner and in popular culture revolve around relationships.

We all require relationships at some point in our lives. When these relationships are well managed, we are able to live a more fulfilling life, feel more secure, and have more passion. People have less and less contact with each other, unfortunately. Working as a health- and lifestyle coach, I often see that many of my clients feel isolated. The Washington Post recently reported on the fact that 25% of Americans believe they don't know anyone with whom they can talk about their problems, more than twice as many people who felt similarly isolated in 1985.

Is it you who is happy, feeling supported, or someone who feels more connected to Lifetime Television then you do with people? No matter your situation, you must decide if this is what you want. Congratulations to those who are content in their relationships. For those who aren’t, these steps will guide you in creating long-lasting, satisfying relationships.

10 Key Steps to Building Great Relationships

Step 1: Accept your current circumstances

You are allowed to be wherever you want. Great if you're single, loving your sexuality and are happy. If you'd prefer to be in relationships, that's great. First, acknowledge your current situation. Second, recognize what you have. Third, work towards the goals you really want. You cannot change the past, but you can create a more enjoyable tomorrow by starting today.

Step 2. Create a positive outlook

My client recently stated to me that "all men suck." His outlook definitely has limited his ability to meet women. If you think you'll never meet someone, you are likely to never succeed. You won't have the energy or motivation to do it if you focus on the negatives. Turn your attention to the positive and trust that things will turn out for you as often as possible grooms.

Step 3. Understand why you are looking for a relationship

Are you really interested in meeting someone? Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Or are you just lonely and think that your life will suddenly be easier if someone comes along? Needy people are not attractive to others. A sign that says "Date my lonely" might be an option. Relationships can be a complement to your life and help you live a better life. However, if your goal is to find someone else to fill the gaps in your life, you're bound to be disappointed. (See step 7).

4: Identify the traits of your ideal partner

Do the following exercise: Grab a blank sheet. This might seem like a simple grade-school assignment, but it actually works. List the characteristics you want in your ideal friend or partner. You can write down any information you have, including your physical and psychological characteristics as well as your interests, hobbies and spiritual beliefs. When you have all this information, it will be easier to discern if someone is right for you. (P.S. It is possible that you won't want to use the checklist on the date. You cannot force someone to be something they are not. Realistically, a square peg can't fit in a circle hole.

5. Develop those qualities within you

Big secret -- like attracts like. Your list of must-have qualities will help you attract the right person. What we give out is what comes back to ourselves. To find someone honest, you must be more open. How can someone expect you to give them something that you haven't given to yourself? You cannot be anything but yourself. Often, we try and be the one we think the other person likes so he will love us more. But he will eventually discover the real you. So it's worth being you the first time they meet. You are more attractive if you have self-confidence and self-esteem. Nobody else will be as happy as you are.

6: Make your action plan

What would be the best place to find your perfect friend or partner? What are his/her hobbies and interests Are there people you may know that might be interested in him? You must get out there and spend your time where you're most likely to meet your ideal partners. You will find those who are into the arts at a gallery or theatre opening. A LGBT outdoor group might be a good option if your passion is the outdoors. You can research events in your region, find their activity schedules, and try to make it a point to attend one every month. Make time to spend with old friends and invite them to introduce you. You must take action and never be afraid to say hello. What could go wrong?

7: Take care

Every aspect of your life is affected by the others. Your relationships can have a negative impact on your health and happiness. The way you eat and exercise can also affect your mood and energy levels. In my private practice I assist people in improving all areas of their lives. Your body and emotions go hand in hand. When you take care of your body, eat well and take good care of yourself physically and mentally, you will be more confident to go out and date. You're unlikely to be as successful in your relationship quest if you're spending every night at home with your face in a pint ice cream.

8: Don't set unrealistic expectations

Expectations are the best way to be disappointed. Accept the process and allow it to unfold. Relationships are not instantaneous. You can't just pack up the car and move right in on the first date.

9: Take a look at the past

Once, someone said to me that insanity is the act of doing the same thing over again and expecting different results. You need to look at what's working and not working in your relationship. There are no "mistakes", they are simply opportunities to do better next time. Learning from mistakes is a great way to make better decisions for the future.

10: Get support

Talk with friends, get to know your peers, and share your hopes and fears. Continue learning, improve your skills, and join a class. We are all in it together. "My happiness, your happiness, is my happiness," was a quote from one of my mentors. We all deserve happiness.